Why the Assault Bike Will Humble You

Why the Assault Bike Will Humble You

, by Daran Salimian, 18 min reading time

What Is an Assault Bike?

Forget the gentle hum of the elliptical. Ignore the serene spin class. There’s a monster lurking in the corner of your gym, a beast of an exercise bike with a menacing fan for a face. It doesn't just sit there; it dares you. It’s the Assault Bike, and it’s not just a piece of equipment – it’s an initiation.

 

  • Pedals, like a stationary bike
  • Moving handlebars that push and pull with your arms
  • A large fan wheel that generates air resistance — the harder you go, the tougher it gets

This makes it self-scaling: it adapts to your effort level without manual resistance settings.

 

 

 

Built for Everyone Who Dares

The beauty of the Assault Bike is its brutal adaptability.

 

  • Beginners seeking efficient, joint-friendly cardio.
  • Athletes forging brutal anaerobic capacity.
  • Fat-loss warriors chasing ultimate calorie burn.
  • Rehab patients needing controlled, low-impact motion.

 

 

The beauty of the Assault Bike is its brutal adaptability.

 

 

 

 

The Full-Body Inferno: Where Calories Go to Die

  • As you pedal and push/pull the handlebars, the fan blades rotate, creating wind resistance.
  • Resistance increases exponentially with speed — the faster you move, the harder it gets.
  • No motor, no electronics — just your body vs the air.

 

This isn't just cardio; it's a full-body inferno. We’re talking about a potential 80+ calories per minute during those gut-wrenching sprints. Your muscles scream, your lungs burn, and your heart pounds a primal drumbeat.:

 

 

Benefits of Using an Assault Bike

Benefit

Why It Matters

Full-body workout

Engages legs, arms, shoulders, and core simultaneously

High-intensity potential

Excellent for fat loss and anaerobic training

Low impact

Easier on joints than running

Great for intervals/HIIT

Ideal for sprints, Tabata, or EMOM-style workouts

Self-regulating

Perfect for all levels — beginner to elite

 

 

 

Assault Bike vs Other Cardio Machines

Benefit

Assault Bike

Treadmill

Rowing Machine

Upper body use

Yes

No

Yes

Impact on joints

Low

High (running)

Low

Low impact

Air (fan)

Motorised belt

Water or magnetic

Great for intervals/HIIT

Excellent

Good

Great

Self-regulating

Loud

Moderate

Quieter

 

 

Popular Uses in Fitness

  • CrossFit WODs (e.g., calories for time)
  • Tabata intervals: 20 sec on / 10 sec off
  • Warm-ups and cool-downs
  • Rehab and conditioning (great for controlled effort)
  • EMOM Hell: 15 calories at the top of every minute for 10 minutes
  • Lactate threshold training for athletes
  • Pyramid Burnout 10 cal, 20 cal, 30 cal... then back down

 

Each one sounds manageable. Until you try it.:

 

 

 

What to Look for When Buying

  • Sturdy steel frame (especially for high power output)
  • Adjustable seat height & depth
  • Monitor with time, RPM, calories, heart rate
  • Belt-driver vs chain-drive - Belt= Quieter and Smoother - Chain = Tougher and noisier

 

Displays are mercilessly simple: time, distance, calories, watts. It's just you versus the numbers. No shortcuts, no distractions. This raw honesty is why it's beloved by military trainers, professional athletes, and everyday masochists alike. You don't just "use" an Assault Bike. You survive it.

 

 

 

Things to Consider

  • They are noisy — the fan makes a lot of wind
  • They hurt (in a good way) — intensity ramps fast
  • They take up a decent amount of space

 

Here's where it truly earns its reputation. Unlike traditional bikes, the Assault Bike isn't just legs. It forces your arms, shoulders, and core into the chaos, too. You're pushing and pulling with your upper body. This symphony of suffering results in a sky-high calorie burn, rapid conditioning, and an afterburn effect that lasts for hours.

 

 

 

Final Thoughts: Pain Is The Point

The Assault Bike is humbling. It hurts. It punishes. And that’s precisely why it works. The next time you crave a workout that’s brutally honest—and honestly brutal—climb on, grip tight, and start pedaling. The fan will be waiting.

 

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